“Brittany! You have to figure out where you are! At least find a street sign.” Mom yelled through the phone.
“Mom, I don’t know where--- I’m at the intersection of Green and Maple. I think I should--”
“Green and Maple? Where are you? Would you just pull over and ask someone?” Mom was past the point of getting mad. It wasn’t my fault that we’d gotten lost. The instructions had been confusing and I had never driven in this big city before. I didn’t understand why she was so upset with me. I just wanted to cry.
And so I did. “Mom, please don’t get mad at me,” I mumbled into the phone as the warm tears started falling down my cheeks. “I’m trying my best, but I can’t find anywhere to stop and ask.”
“Then pull into someone’s driveway, knock on the door, and ASK! It’s not that hard Brittany!”
“Fine.” I hung up the phone defeated. I was tired of being yelled at.
My sisters and I had been in Indianapolis all day- I’d had a doctor’s appointment and then we’d gone shopping. We’d left the store in plenty of time to get home, eat dinner, and leave for musical rehearsal. We’d been on the same two roads for 30 minutes. Finally we decided to try a different road. Yes, we probably should’ve called someone for directions or at least stopped at a store and asked, but I was determined to do it on my own!
My phone rang and I anxiously answered it. I was relieved to hear the voice of my uncle who was from this horrible city in which I was lost. He directed us back to a known road and we were on our way home.
As I drove the forty-five minutes home, I just couldn’t calm down. I was so frustrated! Why couldn’t I follow directions right? Why did Mom have to get so worked up about everything? I didn’t even want to think about the lecture we’d receive for being late to musical rehearsal.
We’re almost home! Only ten miles to go! I thought to myself. The roads were still a little damp from a storm that had just passed by so I was extra careful. I made sure I was going the speed limit and paying special attention to the cars around me. Suddenly there was a white car only inches from us.
The scenes flashed by as I was watching a movie. The white car. My family. The ditch. Smoke. The surreal moment passed by in mere seconds.
“Everyone get out of the car!!!!!” my older sister, Kailee, shouted.
The car is on fire, it’s going to exploded, and we are all going to die. What had I done? I thought. I got out of the car as fast as I could. I had to see if my sisters were okay. A wave of relief hit me the moment I finally saw my sisters, Kailee and Alexis.
What now? We all thought. We’re all okay, but we just wrecked. “Should I call the police or Mom?” Kailee asked shakily.
“Ummm… I guess call Mom and tell her first,” I hesitantly said. I had no idea what to expect. Why is my nose runny? I thought. I quickly wiped my nose with my finger, embarrassed that I had snot all over the place. I quickly learned that it wasn’t snot, but rather blood. And that’s when the shock set in.
“Brittany, are you okay? You just got really white,” Alexis said.
“I don’t feel good. Everything is going black….” I started to say. But before I could finish my sentence a man and his wife had laid me on the cold damp grass.
“My name is Matthew. This is my wife Sarah. We are volunteer firefighters and were right behind you when you had your accident. We’ve already called for an ambulance. I’m just going to check your pulse and a few other vital things.” Wait… did I hear him right? An ambulance? Was I really that bad? I started to realize how much pain I was in.
“Owww…” I whimpered as the man lifted my arm. “That arm really hurts.”
“Okay. Tell me where it hurts most.” He instructed me.
“My face and arm hurt really bad,” I slowly managed to tell him. “And my wrist and hands. I can’t move them.” I was beginning to cry, but I told myself to suck it up. At least you are alive, Brittany.
“Brittany! Oh my gosh!!!” Kailee started freaking out.
“It’s alright. You’re going to be okay,” Alexis tried to reassure me. But I didn’t know if I could believe that.
“Lex, it hurts so bad,” I sobbed. “What did I do? Why did this happen?”
“It’s not your fault, Brit. Everything is going to be fine. Just focus on breathing.”
Then I heard the sirens. Was I relieved, or did the sirens just seem to make things worse? Definitely both. I knew they were coming to help me, but I didn’t want their help. I didn’t want to go to the hospital, I wanted to go home and see my family. I wanted everything to be okay. I needed to see my mom and dad.
The paramedics arrived at the scene and explained what they were going to do. They carefully put me in a neck brace and lifted me on to a stretcher. They then continued to strap my arms and legs down. I literally thought I was going to die. Why else would they be doing all of this to me? I thought I was okay. After being thoroughly trapped down to the stretcher, I was lifted into the ambulance.
Seconds later I saw my dad climbing into the ambulance. A rush of emotion overfell me. “Daddy!” I said as the tears fell faster. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just—“
“Brittany, I am so glad you are all okay. Don’t worry about anything. You just focus on getting better. We’re going to get you to the hospital and double check to make sure nothing is broken. Stay strong for a little while longer. Mom and I will see you at the hospital, okay?”
I tried to shake my head, but the determined neck brace wouldn’t let me budge. “Okay,” I mumbled. As he walked away I pushed back another wave of uncontrollable tears. So many thoughts were racing through my head as I was rushed to the hospital. How’d I get so lucky? I sure don’t know. But, I’m so thankful to be alive. I wonder if the sirens are on… if all the cars are pulling over to let the ambulance through. Are Kailee and Alexis really okay? I’m so thankful I’m the one who got hurt. I would feel terrible if I had killed or even just hurt my sisters. Is the person from the other car okay? What about my car? I wonder what it looks like now. Will I ever get to see it again? What’s Mom going to say? I can’t wait to see her. I hope my arm isn’t broken……
The paramedic in the ambulance sat next to me. He had a smile on his face and a reassuring air about him. “How are you doing?” he asked.
“Well, I’ve definitely been better,” I joked.
“I like that answer,” he smiled. “I know that you are probably not very comfortable and I’m really sorry about that. We just have to be extremely cautious; we don’t want to hurt you more.”
“Yeah, I understand.” The paramedic continued to tell me a little bit about himself and then asked me questions about my family and interests. He asked about some details about the accident, probably to make sure that I hadn’t received a concussion. I don’t remember his name or even what he looked like, but I remember being so grateful to have such a compassionate man assisting me.
As we got closer to the hospital he explained what would happen when we got there. “I’ll just roll you out of the ambulance, and that’s the last you’ll see of me!” he said.
“Thank you so much for everything!” I didn’t think I could say it enough. I was so thankful for this angel in my life. When he had first seen me I was a wreck. My emotions were uncontrollable and I was in utter shock. And as he lifted me out of the ambulance I felt almost normal. My nervousness and feelings of fear were gone. I was just happy to be alive! Who cares if I had broken my nose, arm, wrist, and seven of ten fingers? I was blessed with the chance to wake up the next morning. I could spend more time with my baby sister. I had been given the chance to make memories of my own.
The emergency room was like a zoo. It took what seemed like years for anything to happen. The doctor came in and gave me some pain medication and once again checked all my vitals. I went through x-ray after x-ray and then waited. And waited. And waited some more. Finally the doctor came back with the results from the x-rays. With no signs of broken bones or anything too serious, I was cleared to go home. I couldn’t wait to lie in my bed and hold my baby sister’s hand again.
Life wasn’t easy after the accident. Just because I wasn’t broken anywhere did not mean that I looked normal. The airbags had been kind enough to give me a black eye, a blue check, and a purple swollen lip, as well as a nose the size of Texas. I was in lots of pain and I had many setbacks. The medicine messed me up and I couldn’t figure myself out half the time. But overall, I was grateful to be on the path of recovery.
As the ideas began to flow for the writing of this essay I met a new friend. After talking to him for a few hours he felt impressed to tell me the story of his fiancée, who had been killed in a car accident. I can’t even imagine the pain this young man must have gone through. However because of my accident I had a greater compassion and understanding of his situation. I don’t know why my life was spared and this other girl’s was not, but I know it is for a reason. I am grateful for every minute, of every day that I am blessed to be on this beautiful Earth.
-Brittany :)
You are right we are so blessed to have such a wonderful life. And I also have faith that our heavenly father loves us. He sent us here on this earth to learn and grow and experience new things. That stuff about his fiancé dying is heavy stuff. My sister had a guy friend who fell in love with this girl who had terminal cancer and only had two years left. But he didn’t care and married her any ways. They were sealed in the temple and were married for like six months before she passed away. You have to feel for people like that who have to go through such traumatic experiences.
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